Sympathy Flowers Etiquette: What to Send and When

Sending flowers is one of the oldest ways to show support after a loss. But when you are already worried about saying the right thing, questions about where to send them, what colours to choose and what to write on the card can feel overwhelming. This guide covers the basics of sympathy flower etiquette so you can send your condolences with confidence.

Funeral flowers or sympathy flowers?

Funeral flowers are sent to the funeral home or service and are usually larger arrangements displayed during the ceremony. They are often sent by extended family, colleagues or organizations.

Sympathy flowers are sent to the family's home, during or after the funeral, as a personal gesture of support. Smaller bouquets or basket arrangements that are easy to display at home work best.

When to send sympathy flowers

• For the service: arrange delivery to the funeral home a day before or on the morning of the service. Confirm the address and timing with the funeral home first.
• To the home: any time in the days after the loss is appropriate. Flowers sent a week or two later are also deeply appreciated, when the first wave of support has quieted down.

Always check the family's wishes

Some families ask for donations to a charity "in lieu of flowers". Customs also differ between cultures and faiths. For example, in Jewish tradition flowers are generally not sent to a shiva home, and food or a donation is more customary. If you are unsure, it is always fine to ask a close family member or the funeral home.

Which flowers and colours to choose

White is the traditional colour of sympathy and peace. White roses, chrysanthemums, lilies, carnations and hydrangeas are classic choices. Soft pastels, such as blush pink, lavender and pale blue, feel gentle and comforting. Avoid very bright, festive colours unless you know they were the person's favourites.

A basket arrangement is practical because it arrives ready to display, with no vase needed, which the family will appreciate at a busy time.

Shop: Fresh White Bouquet and White Flowers Basket.

What to write on a sympathy card

Keep it short, sincere and simple. A few examples:

• "With deepest sympathy. Thinking of you and your family."
• "We are so sorry for your loss. Holding you close in our thoughts."
• "Remembering [name] with love."
• "Wishing you peace and comfort during this difficult time."

Sign the card with your full name, and if you are sending from a company or group, include who it is from so the family knows who to thank.

Sending sympathy flowers in Toronto and the GTA

Greenroom Flowers handcrafts every arrangement to order in our Mississauga studio, with same-day delivery available across Toronto and select GTA areas. A complimentary greeting card message can be added in the cart. If you need help choosing an arrangement or timing a delivery for a service, please contact us.